Motherhood...

It never ceases to amaze me how honest some of the other bloggers are when it comes to serious, personal matters. There are times when I wish that I posted more than just a chronological look at our lives, and other times the idea of sharing my thoughts, concerns, struggles, and issues scares me to death!!

I have read some recent posts such as this and this that really make me think and look at how I am living and even more important, how I look at raising my children. I have to say that before we decided to have kids, I thought that I knew everything since I had babysat and worked in nurseries for 15 years. I have had to discipline, teach, and take care of the basic needs of children of all ages. I have seen children that needed more discipline, less discipline, and different discipline and I was the first to tell you my opinion (wanted or not). I really thought that I knew more than some of my friends that are moms and that I would have no problem raising a kid without being "that mom" (you know the one that always takes their kid to the doctor when they sneeze or the one whose child throws fits in the grocery isle).

I am not good at asking for help and I hate looking stupid in front of anyone! Because of this, I read as many parenting books, websites, and magazines as I could get my hands on just in case there were things that I didn't know before having Hannah! I really felt like I was prepared for anything! Then I had her...

Motherhood is the most wonderful, exciting, and rewarding job that I have ever had. Period. I wouldn't trade it for all the money in the world. However, I never knew how much I would second guess every single decision that I make. I worry am I not feeding her enough, or too much; am I feeding her the right things in the right order (because every book has a different opinion and who is to say which one is the right one!); is the choice to let her sleep in the swing this once going to mess up her sleeping pattern for the rest of her life; am I setting the example for her that God would have me to; etc. I have to say in all of this self-doubt, there is one thing that has helped me- I am not the only one! I have talked to multiple friends and as mothers, we all feel the same way! Friends with older kids say that they are past the basic needs worries and now they second guess their discipline choices, the school they put their kids in, their after school activities, their decision on if they can go to a sleepover or not, and the list goes on and on. The hardest part is that you don't know if you did the right thing until years later. You don't know if they are going to turn out to be happy, well-adjusted adults that make good decisions until they become adults!

Through the last few months I have learned one thing: we all do the best we can with the knowledge that we have at the time. We all have different kids with different personalities and as a mom, you have to decide what is best for your kid. I am slowly learning to accept this and stop comparing myself to other moms and stop comparing Hannah to other kids. It is SO much harder than it sounds, but slowly I am learning to lean on God to fill in the gaps and not beat myself up over the little stuff. I also will never again say, "my child will never do _____" because, you never know and I now know "that mom" is just doing the best she can.

Carla and Heath

Ok, time for a new update! This past weekend we had a great visit from my sister Carla and her husband Heath. They came out and spent some time with us and a little time in LA. It was great getting to see them and hang out. We of course took them to "the windy beach" (Guadalupe) just because it has some really cool waves and is just a different beach experience. It was freezing (as usual) and so Carla, Hannah and I didn't spend very long at the beach and spent most of the time in the car! I stole a few pics off of their Shutterfly group they sent and it did some weird resizing, so sorry about the smaller ones!

The whole time they were here (and pretty much since), Hannah had a fascination with sticking her tongue out like this:Most of her pics from this weekend, she is making this same face! She totally cracks me up! I kept telling Carla and Heath that I didn't have any pics of them with Hannah, so on Sunday we took some pics of them with her. We had a great time with them and were glad that they were able to come and see where we live. Carla couldn't get over how cold it is here. She was hoping to go home with a California tan, but where we are, it just really isn't warm enough for that!My favorite time of every day is bathtime with Hannah. There is just something about wet, happy kids that is just too cute! I should have known that bathtime would be my favorite since it was always my favorite time with Cindi's kids! She is just so cute now that she rolls over in the tub and looks up at me with wet eyelashes and smiles, there is nothing better! She kicks and splashes and has the best time! Heath took these of her while they were here (yes, they resized weird when I copied them)!And, for those of you who don't know, I finally caved and got "the mom haircut"! I had been debating it for a while and just decided to go for it! I kept saying that I wasn't going to be one of those people that cut all my hair while I was pregnant, and then I decided I wasn't going to do it right after I had her, but finally, now that she is not napping as much and she is pulling my hair, I caved! I am excited about how much faster I can fix it and how much less she has pulled my hair since cutting it, but I am still trying to get used to having so much less hair! I also have realized, I am not as good as Kristen at self portraits!

Also, since the rest of my family was going to try to come here in August and it didn't fit their schedules, Hannah and I are going back to OK! We leave on the 8th and come back on the 17th. Michael is having a hard time with the idea of not seeing Hannah for that long, but luckily we have the webcams and so he can at least "see" her everyday!

Goleman's Visit and 4th of July

Well, I probably should have broken this down into two or three posts, but oh well! First lets start with the Goleman's trip! It was so great for them to come and meet us at Goleta beach. It is about an hour away in North Santa Barbara. It started out pretty warm, but as the wind picked up, it got cooler and so you will see more and more layers added to Hannah! We started out in our swimsuit on the blanked made by Michael's mom. Then we had an up-close visit by the bird man walking on the beach. He really wanted Hannah to love his bird, but she kept looking at Christina like she was thinking, "is he going to go away, what is so special about this bird?"

I really think that her kids had a great time playing in the cold water and rolling in the sand. At one point Michael, Cory, and Ashley buried little David in the sand and gave him a seashell crest like a super hero and then a merman tail. He was a pretty good sport, but I think he liked busting his way out the most!Christina and I really lucked out because the boys had all of her kids totally entertained digging this really big hole and so she and I were able to sit and chat and walk up and down the beach with Hannah. We would occasionally check in with their progress, but they really self entertained and so we were able to just relax and enjoy a good visit! In the end the guys and the kids lost their wall/fort/hole to the rising tide and it all got washed away... Thanks Golemans for being willing to drive two hours out of your way to head north and spend time with us! It was great getting to see you! Now for the 4th of July...

We went to our church cookout and had a great time. Unfortunately, after two beach trips in a row, the sand in my camera was causing a few small glitches and I only got one picture from early on in the day. As I have mentioned before, it is really pretty chilly sometimes and the 4th happened to be one of those days. We started Hannah out in her onesie and capris and then changed into these jeans and then added a jacket and eventually ended up bundled in a blanket. I was in capris and sandals, and I was freezing by the time it was dark enough for fireworks, in fact, everyone started setting them off early because it was so cold! So, since I only have one picture of Hannah at the event and I want to show off how cute she looked, I took some more in her outfit laying on our ottoman so you can see the outfit that was under the blanket! Her shirt says Future Miss America! (On a side note, it is windy here and my hair always looks a mess! I am in the process of deciding if I want to grow my bangs out or keep them so they need a serious trim, but until I decide, they are just dreadful. Any opinions or suggestions are welcome!) Ok, now I will just finish off with some fun pics from today playing with Hannah! When she has on a really cute outfit, I just can't help but take a few pics of her being all cute! Today she is in her H-bling shirt and she was just playing on our bed with me so I snapped a few shots and a quick video! Enjoy!

Fun Times

I have always told Michael that when we have a house, I want to have Magnolia trees in the front yard. Growing up in Durant, "The City of a Thousand Magnolias," and climbing a huge Magnolia at some relatives home in Louisiana, I have always had a love for them! The blooms are big and smell so good! Well, imagine my surprise to find out that the little trees planted in front of our townhome are Magnolia trees! This was the first bloom...
Last week we started Hannah on cereal! She had a hard time at first figuring out how to move the food to the back of her mouth instead of spitting it out, but she is getting better now. She still makes a mess, but not as bad as this first time! Hannah loves bathtime! Every night she gets in there and just kicks and splashes and has a great time! I wanted some pictures, and Michael wanted them G-Rated, so he tried to keep her covered with a washcloth. I guess one day she will appreciate that her Daddy wanted her modest, even at five months! I also realized that I never posted the link to our family pictures that we took for Mother's Day. They are on JC Penny Smiles by Wire, so you will need to click this link https://www.smilesbywire.com/home.asp?AC=LTPP0258105716JCP
and enter my name Kim Wallace in the customer name box. Then you should be able to hit "click here" and view the pics. They intentionally keep them blurry so you can't copy and paste them and print your own, but at least you can see them. Also, I took her today for her six month pictures and will post the link on them when I get it as well! I am hoping to post pics of our time with the Goleman's later this week, so be sure to check back!

Videos

Ok, so you have no idea how exciting it was for me to find out that I can now post video! I have tried multiple times before and it has never worked, so I was shocked and thrilled to know that now I can post video of Hannah. She has so many "new tricks" that I have wanted to share, so I have been catching short videos during the week. The first is a video of her laughing (granted the lighting is terrible, but I didn't have time to turn on a light or open a window because I didn't want to miss it) and it is my favorite!

This video is her working her way around her new toy, the first step toward future walking!

This is a clip of her rolling over from back to front. She is also capable of rolling all the way over and can scoot anywhere she wants to, I just couldn't get it on video yet!